Oct 6, 2023

When Wounded Self-Esteem Meets Introspection


Last week a buyer left a 1-star review on my Etsy shop, stating multiple things that they found wrong with the item purchased. As a seller it was obviously jarring to be met with such (public!) criticism, especially since the buyer didn't reach out to me privately first to share their dissatisfaction or even request a return.

Long story short, the buyed admitted via private messaging that they were mistaken (i.e. thought they thought they had bought a handmade doll dress when the listing stated it was a size 4 dress made in the Philippines) and said they had decided to keep the dress...but my shop was still left with an unfair 1-star review, which in turn brought down my Etsy-implemented review rating for the month, which in turn doesn't give my listings priority during searches.

In the grand scheme of things I know it isn't that significant, but as someone who puts time and effort into a tiny small business, it really hurt. It kind of felt like someone came into my house and knocked over a bunch of furniture, and then simply walked out after realizing they were in the wrong home.

Fast forward to today one of my girls mentioned at breakfast two unfriendly things that two different friends said their moms said about our family. I am a member of the non-thick skin club and am super sensitive to boot, and was furtively wiping away tears as I finished getting my girls out the door for school. 

Tim was very diplomatic and stated that something probably had gotten lost in translation. And one of the things really was ridiculous- "she said our family doesn't watch *anything*" (which, funnily enough, a while ago a kid close to our family stated to my girls "my mom says you guys watch too much t.v."- really, REALLY brings to light that you cannot please everybody!). After typing the first silly comment out I probably come off like a big baby. But what truly stung was the fact that people (that we've invited into our home) were judging us and saying things in front of their kids. (Okay, adding disclaimer of *maybe judging* because I really don't know the full story behind the child-relayed comments.)

But honestly, instances like the above make me want to shut down socially, turn absolutely inward, and become a hermit. Goodbye interaction. People can't say hurtful things if you're invisible, except judgement over anti-social behavior, I guess. 


There's also that tiny, niggling reminder that I need to be mindful of how I react as a dissatisfied customer, AND it makes me extra grateful for every kind review someone leaves me. Also, I need to be cognizant of things I say about others and how information might be construed, especially when my kids are in ear-shot. After-all, unfavorable comments seem to be passed along on the playground with more vim and vigor than compliments. I don't have much else to offer, except that I'm trying (albeit feebly) to keep in mind the unfair treatment and untrue insults Jesus endured on a much, much larger scale.

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